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Lost Then Found: Read Chapter Five Now!

Hi guys!

Click here to read Chapter Five of Lost Then Found.

PHEW. What a long wait, huh?

Again, thanks to everyone for being so patient. I had a loooot going on the past few months and it made it really difficult to stick to my update-a-month schedule that I was trying so hard to stick to. Writing is hard, guys.

I’d read the latest chapter first before reading this blog post any further (not that there’s anything particularly spoilery, but just in case.)

Ahem.

This chapter, which is 52 pages long in Microsoft Word, is 100% Val-centric. It’s basically a ‘day-in-the-life-of-our-favorite-mob-boss’ chapter, which I think is good because everyone has been asking to be in her head, and frankly I missed being in there anyway. It’s a good glimpse into what Val has going on, since the story has been very Alex-focused up until this point. Alex does show up eventually, though, so I’m sure that was a big relief to those of you that have been Sterling’d, which is probably 99% of you.

I’m excited about writing the next chapter because I get to have the two of them in the same room again, for longer than ten minutes, for the first time in forever. Writing them separately is a huge pain. I’m so used to them occupying the same space a la Alex’s Girl.

I’d love to know what you guys think of the chapter (as per usual) so feel free to leave comments here or on Wattpad.

Here’s the chapter song! Castle by Halsey (who, by the way, I will be going to see at Madison Square Garden on Saturday. If I can get Halsey to make out with me I will of course let you all know so I can brag about it.)

 

Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise
Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised
Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it
Already choking on my pride, so there’s no use crying about it

(Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei)

I’m headed straight for the castle
They wanna make me their queen
And there’s an old man sitting on the throne that’s saying that I probably shouldn’t be so mean
I’m headed straight for the castle
They’ve got the kingdom locked up
And there’s an old man sitting on the throne that’s saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

Oh, all of these minutes passing, sick of feeling used
If you wanna break these walls down, you’re gonna get bruised
Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it
Already choking on my pride, so there’s no use crying about it

(Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei)

I’m headed straight for the castle
They wanna make me their queen
And there’s an old man sitting on the throne that’s saying that I probably shouldn’t be so mean
I’m headed straight for the castle
They’ve got the kingdom locked up
And there’s an old man sitting on the throne that’s saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

In other news, the Skype Group Chat is still going on! We’re a bunch of fun chicks that you should come hang out with. To join just add me on Skype (by searching for me via my Email, Taleth.Phaulkon@gmail.com) and after I’ve accepted your add request PLEASE send me a message letting me know you’d like to be added to the group. It’s really that easy, I promise.

ALSO I’m very active on Twitter now, so that’s the best place to go if you’re looking for more consistent, frequent updates on my writing progress. My most recent writing-progress related tweet will always be pinned to the top of my Twitter profile.

Not that I don’t love hearing from you guys but before messaging me or commenting to ask when the next update is, make sure you’ve checked one of my SEVERAL social media sites to see if I’ve answered your question there.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MY INSTAGRAM

ASK ME QUESTIONS ON MY ASK.FM

I KNOW THIS IS SURPRISING TO MANY OF YOU, BUT IF YOU FOLLOW ME ON WATTPAD THEN YOU WILL GET EMAIL ALERTS THE SECOND I UPDATE A NEW CHAPTER (and therefore won’t have to Email me constantly to see if I’ve updated yet…)

Oh and if you’ve recently messaged me or sent me an Email I promise I will respond the second I have a free moment!

I’m no longer going to promise to update monthly, but I will try my hardest to anyway.

I’ll post the Chapter Six Preview in a few weeks or so, so be sure to check back (or, if you follow me here too, you’ll get Email alerts when I post anything.)

OH and before I forget, I’ve entered Lost Then Found into The Wattys 2016, which is probably a longshot but hey I’m down for the challenge. I’ll be honest–I don’t fully understand how The Wattys work. BUT if you do, then feel free to do your thang and show your support for LtF because winning things sounds cool. Honestly it sounds like they choose winners based on votes, shares, engagement/comments (aka Data analyzed by their ‘data scientists’) so if you do any of those three things you’re helping Alex and Val out, and that’s rad.

Thanks to my lovely betas for reading 52 long pages and correcting my dumb mistakes despite having busy lives (and dumb mistakes) of your own.

Anyway. I love you guys. Thanks for reading!

Goodnight! Catch you on the flip.

-Taleth.

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Lost Then Found: Chapter 5 Preview

Hello peasants!

Happy Friyay! May your work/school day be short and boring but in the good way, not the bad way.

I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything. I’m sorry. I’ve been really really really really busy. April was crazy and May has also been crazy.

Anyway, I know I warned you all at the end of Chapter 4 that there was a good chance that I probably wouldn’t update in May. I was right, clearly.

BUT I’m hoping to maybe update in June? I don’t know, this chapter is being a huge pain in the ass. I guess you’ll see why when you read the preview though.

Speaking of… here is the Chapter 5 Preview:

***

I wasn’t prepared to wake up in the emergency room with a bullet wound and a concussion, but I was even less prepared to find myself staring into Alex Sterling’s stunned face.

I had thought I was dreaming. I used to have that dream often. That nightmare. Her face often plagued my mind, when I was stuck drifting in the chasm between awake and sleep, like some painful, constant reminder that I had been to Heaven for a minute before falling back to Hell where I was destined to stay lost forever, wandering all nine circles like Dante before me.

If my heart was a house, Alex was locked in the basement.

She was a secret I kept buried in the darkest room, a place I never went to except in the late hours of the night, when exhaustion would weaken the defenses I had spent years building. Against better judgment I would open the door and take a peek inside, where I would find her shivering and starving, chained to the wall of my barely beating heart.

My visits to the room grew more and more infrequent as the years passed, until one day I realized I had stopped going entirely.

***

Mmmm symbolism. Delicious.

Oh, and surprise! Guess whose head we’re going to be in for Chapter Five? Here’s a hint– It’s Val. We’re going to be in Val’s head. You already knew that, you didn’t need a hint.

I’m still in ‘first draft mode’ with this chapter so this passage may be completely taken out, or moved around, or tweaked further, or who knows what, by the time I’m ready to post the actual chapter.

Oh, and as for the group chat… if you want to join, you’ll have to log onto Skype, search for my Skype profile/account (searching for it via my Email: Taleth.Phaulkon@gmail.com), add me as a contact, then REQUEST to be added to the group chat by messaging me. This is the ONLY way to join it now.

Goodnight and have a good weekend guys!

-Taleth.

Taleth’s Guide To TRUE ROMANCE

Just kidding. If I were to actually write a guide to romance you’d all be fucked, and I wouldn’t do that to you, because I care.

nickering seductively
Me flirting. Don’t be me.

This is just a post about my awesome Valentine’s Day plans.

So I’ve been dating this girl, codename SEXY MCHOTSTUFF (McHotStuff), for a few months. We’ve been talking since Thanksgiving but didn’t actually start going on dates until early December. So I guess it’s been like 2.5 months?

Well, whatever. Anyway. McHotStuff is pretty hot and awesome. I’m into her. I’m tryna get dat shit on lock, yo.

damngurlufine

 

Okay no. Seriously though she’s pretty great, so I did some cute shit for Valentine’s Day and I want to share!

So last week, after we had awesome sex, I handed her a card. On the inside I had written ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ and then put two check boxes that both said “Yes.” Sort of like the pic below:

Screen Shot 2016-02-13 at 10.24.45 PM
To purchase this card, click here.

And then in the bottom right corner I put a tiiiiny check box that said ‘No :(‘ next to it (gotta give her the option, at least.)

She immediately freaked out at how adorable it was, and checked off both Yes’s.

Scoooore.

smoothbird
Smooth af.

 

So then there was a minor mishap where she was like “Wait, were you asking me to be your girlfriend? It was dark” and I said “uhhh no, the card was asking you to be my Valentine” and then things got awkward for like 10 seconds (because she thought she checked yes to being in an official, committed relationship with me) but anyway, that’s not what this post is about.

I love searching Etsy when looking for funny Valentine’s Day cards. We haven’t been dating very long at all, so anything serious/sentimental is a NO GO. It had to be lighthearted and fun. But also, I’m not a sentimental or serious person, so it was going to be lighthearted and fun anyway.

I was actually in a similar situation a year ago (different girl, obviously), and this is the card I ended up getting her:

wpid-img_20150213_165158276_hdr.jpg

So I was like, damn, that’s one ROMANTIC CARD. Gonna be tough to beat! And I couldn’t get this girl (who is TOTALLY BETTER than last year’s girl, and the girl before that, and the girl before that, and the girl before that, by the way) the same card!

So I did some searching on Etsy and LO AND BEHOLD I found the best card that accurately summed up my feelings while remaining relatively minimalist!

wp-1455419228836.jpg
Obviously my nail color preference has not changed over the course of a year. Card can be bought here.

So in case English isn’t your first language, this card is funny because ‘Jalapeno’ is the name of a hot pepper, but when you pronounce “Jalapeno” it kind of sounds like ‘Ha-lah-peen-yoh’ and THAT sort of sounds like ‘All-Up-In-Yo’.

So, when you read this card, it basically sounds like you’re saying “I would love to get all up in yo(ur) pants.”

itsperfect
You knew a Korra gif was coming.

And since I do, in fact, love getting all up in her pants, I figured it was, as Korra says, perfect!

But then the question was… what do I write in it? I asked one of my best friends for advice.

wp-1455421740503.jpg

Ahhh, romance. 

So I ended up writing something similar. Warning: My handwriting is AWFUL. Like. Embarrassingly awful. Basically I have the handwriting of a 10-year-old boy. I tried explaining how bad it is to McHotStuff and she was like “I doubt it’s that bad, I mean you obviously know how to use your hands” which was really sweet but also my sexual prowess has nothing to do with my shitty handwriting.

I know I’m going to regret posting this image online because you’re all going to fixate on how TERRIBLE my handwriting is and miss all this romantic genius I’m spewing.

Screen Shot 2016-02-13 at 10.58.46 PM

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Congrats on your face,

And your booty, too. 

(but also, like, everything else)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

You’re awesome and stuff. 

Let’s make out?

-Taleth.

 

So essentially I’m saying, “I like you! Let’s have sex.”

we'llbangok

I think it’s gonna be a winner.

She also loves this magician guy that is always at this bar she goes to with her friends, so she’s always sending me pictures of cool tricks he does for her (I’m convinced he’s trying to bang her but w/e).

So, naturally, I told her I’d learn magic to impress her.

She said, “PLEASE DO.”

SO! I went on Amazon and bought this “magic trick” that I did for show and tell once in 2nd grade. Allow me to demonstrate (apologies for filming this in portrait mode like a plebe):

Now you see the ball… NOW YOU DON’T…Now you do…NOW YOU DON’T AGAIN!

Voila! Magic.

She’s going to be very impressed.

NOW, FOR MY NEXT TRICK, WATCH ME MAKE HER PANTS DISAPPEAR.

wp-1455419854558.gif
Me.

 

I also got her a box of chocolates from Max Brenner (an amazing chocolate place in Union Square).

So yeah, that’s how I will be impressing McHotStuff on Valentine’s Day.

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day (or Singles Awareness Day, or Galentine’s Day, or whatever other variety of ____ Day they have these days.)

Also, I give you all permission to plagiarize my Valentine’s Day card poem, it’s pretty romantic.

May you all get laid, amen.

 

 

The Most Romantic Valentine’s Day Card

wpid-img_20150213_165158276_hdr.jpg

This is not true. I am definitely in it for more than her nice rack (although it is definitely one of my favorite things if we’re being perfectly honest here.)

But like, how great is this card?

I guess I probably should’ve posted this sooner so you guys could get an awesome card like this for your own ladies but whatever. If you want to get one of these sah-weet Valentine’s Day cards (or cards for other occasions), check out Row House 14 on Etsy by clicking HERE.

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